Friday, March 2, 2012

Little Miss Well-Adjusted. Well Maybe. (3.2.2012)

Here's what I did today:

I drove to work.

I laughed with my work friends.

I ate Lean Cuisine for lunch.

I actually did some work (But not enough. I brought my laptop home.)

When I got home, I decided to make myself homemade pizza.

I got the dough ready and it's rising right now.

I have a bottle of Kendall-Jackson Chardonnay ready to go, but first I have to walk on the treadmill for a bit. One of the things I've been doing nearly every day this week.

All of this sounds really good, except for one thing.

(It's the next thing. I won't keep you in suspense.)

All day I've been missing someone who used to be a close, close friend. It's all I could think about. I tried so hard all day to push those feelings away, but the feelings told me they wanted to stay right where they were, thank you.

In the past, when I was actually on speaking terms with this person (and laughing terms, best-friend terms and yes, love-making terms), we would find that we were both thinking about each other at the same time.
Roy Lichtenstein

I can't help but wonder if he is thinking of me too. I read my horoscope today, wondering if it would give me a clue. (Have you ever done something like that? Something so stupid you can't believe you did it?)

The horoscope did not help much. I read both his (Aries) and mine (Gemini). It still didn't help.

Ours was a relationship without a future, and a past that could be counted in years. But shit happens, and one day we had nothing left to say that had not already been said. Blah, blah, blah -- doing our part for the environment by recycling the same conversation over and over and over again.  

I know that how I'm feeling is pretty typical for two people who spent so much time together. I know that some days will be good for me and some days will be not so good. And lately, I've been lucky to have more good days than bad days.

And that's why, its such a shock to my controlling little system to be suddenly jerked backwards into the chasm of missing someone with all my heart. Especially when me and my heart know that I could just keep falling forever, thank you, because there will be no one there to break my fall.

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